OLD MR PETTIGREW
Old Mr Pettigrew fell downstairs. He wasn't wearing his pendant - silly Mr Pettigrew. He was found by the milkman next day and taken to hospital.
"You need new slippers." "That stair carpet's a death trap." " You're too old to be living alone."
Mr Pettigrew shouted at the doctor, "Stop treating me like a child. I fought in the Battle of Britain before you were even thought of."
"Now, now," said the doctor soothingly, "Don't let's lose our temper."
Mr Pettigrew hit the doctor with his bedpan and discharged himself. Old Mr Pettigrew now wears new slippers and lives in a bungalow.