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Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

Last post 07-28-2008 22:19 by manu00014. 17 replies.
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  • 05-19-2008 16:39 Post ID: 342,894 

    • Yollom
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-04-2007
    • Manchester
    • Posts 188

    Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Got a letter last night advising my DD (13) Staris going to have her poem below published in a bookClap

     
    LONER
     
    Waking up in the morning, feeling sick
    Knowing they'll be there 'taking the mick'
    when I'm walking or standing still
    they'll be there, and I feel so ill.
     
    Crouched by the railings, trying to be small
    I can see the bullies, laughing by the wall
    with their taunting voices they all roar
    'there's that swat with the 6A score'
     
    They stand in a ring, it's five to one
    there's leering heads where the sun once shone
    they break my pens, then pull my hair
    I tell them to stop but they just don't care.
     
    I shut my eyes as the world spins round
    I hear the thud as I hit the ground
    It's so useless, I wish I was free
    I'm locked in a cage without the key.
     
    Is it because I don't have a phone?
    Is it because I'm always alone?
    But every night I lay down my head
    bitterly wishing the bullies were dead.
     
    Rachel (13)
     
    I am assured this doesn't realte to her personal experiencesYes
    Yollom
  • 05-19-2008 16:43 Post ID: 342,897  In reply to

    • dingsy
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-04-2007
    • Exeter, Devon
    • Posts 7,154

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Well done to your daughter-she has talent. She's succeeded in capturing the sheer terror of being faced by bullies-particulary liked the line , "there's leering heads where the sun once shone". Very clever indeed.

    My heart was sinking as I read this-until I saw your comment,so am mightily relieved!




    http://i172.photobucket.com/albums/w4/frangi_2007/frang.gif[/IMG]
    Currently reading,"Far After Gold", Jen Black






  • 05-19-2008 17:06 Post ID: 342,909  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    what a well thought out and written poem like elaine i was worried until i read your comment well done her

  • 05-19-2008 17:27 Post ID: 342,923  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Wow what an excellent poem.   You have a very talented daughter.    I'm glad its not based on her personal experiences though.

    Currently reading :Fractured by Karin Slaughter
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  • 05-19-2008 17:29 Post ID: 342,926  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Brilliant - I also shared my son's poem on here when he won the school prize, his was also a very depressing subject but again, not reflecting personal experience.

    It's really good for a 13 year old, hope she keeps it up.

    Currently Reading: Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

    My Wishlist
  • 05-19-2008 17:54 Post ID: 342,936  In reply to

    • irishmist
    • Top 10 Contributor
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    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    wow well done to your daughter that is brilliantly written u should be so proud of her x


  • 05-19-2008 18:14 Post ID: 342,950  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Congratulations to your daughter, and some for Mum too!

    Smile, you'll feel better!
  • 05-19-2008 18:19 Post ID: 342,952  In reply to

    • tolly18
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-04-2007
    • Unreconstructed Bookaholic on the Isle of Skye
    • Posts 10,010

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Congratulations, it's a great poem with a lot of feeling. I do hope your daughter goes on writing!

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  • 05-19-2008 18:54 Post ID: 342,985  In reply to

    • Yollom
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-04-2007
    • Manchester
    • Posts 188

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    thank you for all you lovely comments - we are very proud of her

    Yollom
  • 05-19-2008 18:57 Post ID: 342,987  In reply to

    • angelicfi
    • Top 10 Contributor
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    • Forum Member of the Year 2007 from N.Ireland
    • Posts 7,615

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    What talent your daughter has.....unfotunately mine has the experience of the poem and she said it really touched her...




  • 05-19-2008 19:04 Post ID: 342,994  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    What a great poem, so well written. Like others I was concerned for her safety, but glad to hear it's not a personal experience. She deserves to be praised.
  • 05-19-2008 21:11 Post ID: 343,087  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    Thought your daughters poem was very well written, I am extremely glad that it isn't related to personal experiences.

    Reading: Salem Falls - Jodi Picoult
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  • 05-19-2008 21:14 Post ID: 343,092  In reply to

    • sazzymch
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    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    That's fabulous.  Good for her - let's hope it'll make some of the bullies out there think.

    Currently Reading "The Burnt House"by Faye Kellerman
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  • 05-20-2008 20:58 Post ID: 343,644  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    very touching poem by your daughter. well done to her

  • 05-20-2008 21:21 Post ID: 343,646  In reply to

    Re: Poem by my lovely daughter (13)

    That is really touching - and very glad she doesn't have personal exp.  My niece's poem (she is 7) is being published in a book of poetry - not sure what book but it is costing £15!!! 

    Currently reading - The Bone Garden by Tess Gerritsen
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