I agree with both Denise and Treez. I really liked the style it was written in, I do see where you are coming from Tony, but I enjoyed the "long-winded" way she wrote it in. I also think it was quite realistic the way she wrote about the child (not for the majority of mothers) but when you read/hear of cases where women have had postnatal depression, or have had a child without maybe really being sure they want one - I think Shriver reflected their feelings very well of being unconnected to their child. There are not always loving bonds within families, and there are often a lot of cold, detached emotions to be found. Like I say, I don't think this is the norm, but yes, definitely think she was accurate with her tone - despite the subject matter being a three year old!

This is definitely a book you need to stick with

i found the first third difficult to get into but once i got the hang of her style it started to pick up and boy am i glad i stuck with it

i kept asking people who i knew had read it and checking all the reviews i could find on it and they all said stick with it and with good reason and once you get to the end you might even be tempted to re-read it in a different light

 

it took me ages to get into it but I enjoyed it once i did

really enjoyed the book think the writing sytle added to the story and made it more real x

I am another one who hated Shriver's style, but I stuck with it to the end. Once I had finished the book, I couldn't help thinking about it. I think she probably did do a fair bit of research into children and parenting, as many of the experiences she has with Kevin have resonances in my own life as a mother. However I think both main characters - the mother and Kevin - have been taken to extremes to make the story work. In particular, the mother is a very cold character and it is rather difficult to view her sympathetically and to understand why she reacts to each incident in the way she does, and how she relates to Kevin overall. I felt the other characters could have done with a little bit of fleshing out, especially the daughter and husband, but perhaps it was intended to show how the mother focussed on Kevin to the exclusion of other members of her family.

 I agree that Shriver's style is quite odd, but I loved this book. I really felt quite drained and emotional at the end, and it stayed with me for a long time. It also put into words my own feelings about having children-I never have and never will, because you just don't know what you'll get. A risk I was never prepared to take. 

I just wish I could have got my mother to read it, it may have explained why she never got any grandchildren!  

AmeliaJane:

 it stayed with me for a long time.

 

I agree with this, I still think about that book now and it was months ago that I read it.

I read this ages ago and really enjoyed it. Anyone who enjoyed it should read Jodi Picoult's 'Nineteen Minutes' which is on the same theme - excellent! 

OMG.  I have held off this debate until I read the book, and once I finished it last night I haven't been able to wait to get on here to splurge about it, and I can't believe what I'm reading!!  Yes, the style of writing is long winded and may seem patronising in respects, but that's EVA, it's how Eva speaks, it's part of HER story, not the authors.  It made her interesting, to me.  I liked Eva, I'm not saying she'd be my best buddy but she was interesting and she was normal, she'd had a pretty shitty childhood, she'd had it rubbed in all her life about her Armenian background and how they were culled in history and it was practically forced on her for it to mean something.  Then on top of that, her father was killed, something else to make an issue in her life, and then further to that, her mother is an agoraphobic and whilst she's all out in the open, let's talk about our heritage, she won't admit even to herself she has a problem with living!  No wonder Eva is cold..if that's the right term....she's never been taught how to be warm, she hasn't been nurtured either...and ultimately I think the book shows that Eva isn't cold, she feels very deeply, someone who is cold does not feel deeply.  She is very intuitive and opinionated, yes, but that doesn't maek her bad.  She loves her husband madly and she loves Kevin, she does, just because a mother can see her son's faults doesn't mean she hates him!! 

If anyone in this book irritated me, it was Franklin, what a wet sponge!  Talk about burrowing your head in the sand!  Kevin was a s***!  And his father knew it but didn't want to accept that a son of his could be like that, even at the last the idiot still couldn't believe anything bad of his son.  The thing is, imo, Eva knew Kevin, subconsciously, Eva knew where Kevin was at, all those comments of hers about SUV's and fat people, oh yes, Kevin agreed but went further than that.  She was aloof, he was evil.  And I think the author used the juxtaposition of Celia and her dad to emphasize lots of things.  Franklin was irritated by Celia's little quirks, but was blinkered to Kevin's big ones, because he could see himself in Celia and he didn't like what he saw, that he was weak and would take the easy road, but actually when push came to shove Celia was actually braver than he.  He didn't want to face up to what Kevin was like, it was easier to pretend the problem was Eva.  And if Eva and Franklin had been allowed to split up, it wouldn't have worked for Kevin, he didn't want to stay with daddy and he kew his mum wouldn't take him, and he didn't want Celia to have Eva to herself, even though he despised Eva he still loved her, he knew Eva was the only one who knew what he was like, take her away, and all his actions would be pointless, so all that was left was to do what he did!

Brilliant book, very disturbing, but well written and researched.  There are kids like that and you can't always blame the parents.  Kevin was unlovable, there was nothing redeeming about him, but ultimately, Eva's maternal instinct did kick in and she did love him, whether because he was all that was left of Franklin and Celia, or because he finally admitted to doubt.  But she's some mother, she may have wanted to but she never gave up on him, did she!

 

scimum:

I am another one who hated Shriver's style, but I stuck with it to the end. Once I had finished the book, I couldn't help thinking about it. I think she probably did do a fair bit of research into children and parenting, as many of the experiences she has with Kevin have resonances in my own life as a mother. However I think both main characters - the mother and Kevin - have been taken to extremes to make the story work. In particular, the mother is a very cold character and it is rather difficult to view her sympathetically and to understand why she reacts to each incident in the way she does, and how she relates to Kevin overall. I felt the other characters could have done with a little bit of fleshing out, especially the daughter and husband, but perhaps it was intended to show how the mother focussed on Kevin to the exclusion of other members of her family.

 

 She only focuses on Kevin in the story because she is trying to make sense of everything.  Those incidents stuck in her mind for a reason, because they were pure evil, but she probably didn't dwell on them daily, only when another incident occurred.....like most mothers would.  She didn't flesh Celia and Franklin out because she didn't need to, she understood them, they weren't the problem.  I think it was almost as if she was saying, when this happened, and then this, something should have been done, but nothing was, and it led on ...until....it was too late.  I can view her sympathetically, absolutely.  I'm not saing she's innocent of blame but let's face it she had no support did she?  What about criticsising Franklin for being blind, if he'd have been a bit more honest with himself and admitted Kevin had problems, well, lives might not have been lost.  I mean some of the stuff Kevin did was seriously disturbed....if my kid was in nappies at 6, without medical reason I'd be thinking he was doing it on purpose too.  If my son was 'relieving' himself in full view of me I'd be seriously worried because that's not normal, and the fact that Franklin wouldn't address it shows he knew it was abnormal too.

I loved this book. It was recommend to me and I found it very thought provoking.

 As a dad of two kids (17 and 15) I too think Franklin was a complete wimp. The relationship between mother and son was described in an excellent manner - I dont know how she "stuck" by him with all the abuse she got, I am sure if I saw no change in "Kevin" I would have left him to rot by himself.

Highly recommended to anyone not yet made up their mind

I've recently finished this book and, like others, I hated it when I first started reading it. I really couldn't get into it. But once I kept on and on, I really started to enjoy it. It was so worth it. Amazing ending. Considering the content of the book, I actually managed an "Awww," at the end when Eva mentions how she always has a place ready for Kevin.

I hated Kevin as a child. I couldn't get that picture of the viciousness of him in my head but once he became a teenager I found him more believable. I really liked the fact that Shriver portrayed Eva the way she did. Eva was a very realistic character. It's rare that someone like her is written about. Too often mothers and main characters are sugar coated. There's not enough out there about women who become mothers and don't necessarily have that maternal instinct. A very interesting view on things.

Could kind of see what had happened to Franklin coming but the *way* and *how* it was done was a real shocker.

Great read. Very slow at first but well worth it.